Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Beautiful Mess

The 6:00 a.m. wake-up calls have gone a little smoother this week. And I've actually been more productive at work than I normally am. It's easier to leave the office on-time... (Whatever time that is.) Easier to force myself to go to the gym, to read my books, to spend time with The Cat.

I've cleaned the bathroom. Read my mail and paid my bills. I've done the laundry; and I've even folded my clothes and put them away instead of letting them sit crumpled in the clothes basket. The hallway closet is organized, and the bikes are racked. Shit - I've even watched television and painted my nails.

Seriously. I've been incredibly productive this week. The To Do List at work has whittled. And the only items left on my personal Google Task List are things I will never get around to doing. (Purchase frame for UVA Diploma?) My iTunes library reflects the latest Spoon and Beck, my new favorite band The Evens, as well as some more embarrassing tunes to round out my latest running mix. (Pitbull - Fuego? Anyone?)

But still, I'd rather be incredibly disorganized and disheveled and pudgy and listening to all of my old music. If it meant that you were here.

Instead, I find myself emailing you while listening to this country song...

Sunday, August 19, 2007


We headed out the door around noon. My first serious ride in a very long time. After a weekend of debauchery and broken New Years resolutions from 2004, it felt good to do something good for myself.

It was warm in Russian Hill. An atypical San Francisco summer morning. We cruised down Polk Street and into the Marina giggling over the weekend's antics. It was great to be back on my bike again with AER.

But as we approached the Marina Green and what is normally our first glimpse of the Golden Gate Bridge, the fog swallowed us whole, our beautiful summer day fading... Honestly, since I was in a somewhat weakened state, I thought about turning back. So thick was the fog that there was no way to know if it was just cloud cover over The Bay itself or if all of Marin was shaded and cold.

However, turning back is rarely an option for us, so we continued on. Across the bridge with little visibility, we let our instincts guide us. And up the torturous hill that is Mt. Tamalpais, we persevered. We pressed despite the pain - OK, the agony - that pierced us from time to time. Despite the fear that the hurt would never end and that we really had no idea what we were doing.

Because sometimes you just have to take that plunge. Despite knowing that difficulty is in store and that pain will be unavoidable. Because after that uncomfortable feeling of the unknown reaches its peak, a new opportunity always descends. Exciting and empowering, we live for these breakthroughs.

And so we ride them out... re-invigorated and ready for whatever comes with the next foggy crossing.

Mt. Tamalpais
42 miles (with lots of climbing!)
* Includes some stops to take in the view...