The Cat in my Apartment

We've been a family now for almost six months. AER, me, and The Cat. AER's cat.

The Fucking Cat...

The Cat wakes up right 6:00 AM every day. And he cries until one of us feeds him. "REER-REER-REER-REER..." Whoever suggested the onomatopoeia "Meow" is an idiot. The Cat's call for food sounds nothing like a cute "meow."

Each day, after breakfast at dawn, The Cat likes to go for a run around the apartment. Unlike me, The Cat is not so much an endurance athlete. No, there is no slow and steady for The Cat. The Cat is more of a sprinter. A track star, if you will. His specialty is the Feline High Jump. He runs and springs and clears obstacles like my desk. My nightstand. My bookshelf. And the television.

However like me, The Cat often runs into things. He breaks up his morning sprint around the apartment by running into walls. And doors. Also my bed. More than anything, The Cat crashes into my door. You know, my door that I have shut so I can go back to sleep. He crashes into it with his claws. Repeatedly. Scratching. And scratching and scratching.

Until he starts to whimper. The Cat whimpers and whines until AER or I wake-up and go into the living room. Not to feed him - he's already been fed. And not to get him water, as he has his own water fountain. The Cat whimpers and whines simply because he wants us to get out of bed.

And it is at this point that The Cat becomes a real pain in the ass.

Because as soon as one of us gets out of our beds, The Cat runs into either AER's or my bedroom. He then jumps onto the bed out of which one of us has just left. He plops himself onto the pillow on which we were just sleeping. And The Cat, himself, settles in, and goes to sleep.

The Fucking Cat!

The Cat is sitting next to me right now. He is just staring at me. Oh, how I wish I knew what he was thinking! Mysterious cat...

Tonight, when I arrived home from work, The Cat greeted me at the door. He can hear me coming down the hallway. And I can hear him scamper from his favorite chair (which coincidentally, is MY favorite chair) to the door. The Cat slides on our hardwood floors and flips onto his back. He comes to a stop inches from the front door, paws curled, belly exposed, and eyes wide, begging, "Scratch me!"

The Fucking Cat. So damn cute!

He follows me around the apartment as I put down my bag. Collect my mail. Cook dinner. If I've just come in from the gym, and I then change my clothes, The Cat gets comfortable atop my smelly workout gear. (He's particularly a fan of my stinky socks!) When I sit down at the table to read the mail or open my laptop, he jumps up onto my mail or laptop so that I cannot read anything.

And when I do win sitting rights in the chair, to crochet or watch television or to read a book, I often find The Cat is perched to my right on the armrest. I look at him, and he purrs. He crawls around and sits himself down right on my lap. He nuzzles his head into my arm and says, "If you didn't work, we could sit like this ALL DAY!"

The Cat. He loves me!

Sometimes I can't find The Cat. I often find myself panic a little when he disappears. Sometimes I even catch myself peering out the window to make sure he didn't fall out or anything. We have screens and we hardly ever have the windows open, but still, I worry. But deep down, I know I'll find him. And so I go looking... The Cat normally turns up quickly. Under my bed. Under my desk. Under my dresser. Inside my dresser. In my closet. Under my sink. In my shower...

The Cat is a lunatic!

Before I got to bed each night, I head to the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth. The Cat, sensing that it is time to go to sleep - meanders over to my bedroom. He looks around, tries to act natural. Pretends - just for a second - that he has no interest in jumping onto my bed. But sure enough, up he goes, and around he walks, settling himself right smack in the middle of where I intend to sleep.

He looks startled when I approach the bed. And he raises his eyes as I pull down the covers and request that he please, move OVER just a tad. I scratch his neck, and he obliges. Purring, he gives me a good night sniff. We play for a few minutes and he gnaws at my hand. He settles down and goes to sleep right next to me. Next to me - not AER. He's her cat, but he likes to sleep with me.

The Cat. I fucking LOVE this cat!

Puck