The Monday to Friday "Going" has been a little tough lately. My running Going has also been tough lately. Aside from a pretty impressive marathon out of nowhere, I've been mostly sprint-sputter-stop, the running equivalent to hurry up and wait.
But today my running tough got going again. I don't know if it was the playlist Wilson orchestrated. Or if it was the scenery of Chrissy Field - the Golden Gate, the waves, the pelicans. Quite possibly it was the thought of Sunday's cheeseburger and french fries settling on my saddlebags. Even more likely it was just me trying to run away from my Monday. But today, 4 miles turned into 8. And I finally got my high again.
The absence of high didn't stop me from reading Runner's World cover to cover the day it arrives. It never stopped me from drinking bottles and bottles of Propel. It never stopped me from lacing up anything but a pair of Kayanos.It never stopped me from thinking that the sliced bread cliche should be updated to reflect the mother of all inventions, BodyGlide. The absence of the high really didn't stop me from acting like a runner at all. You know, except for the running part.
The lack of high has however, spurred self-doubt. I haven't felt like much of a runner for a long time. Which lead me to think about what it even means to be a runner. I'm not sure I know anymore. I don't know if it's running races or finishing marathons. I don't know if it's owning all the gear. Adoring Fuel Belts and shunning cotton socks. I don't know if you even have to LIKE running all the time to be a runner.
But maybe, being a runner is just having the gumption to lace up again. No matter how long it's been since that last run. And to keep going. Even if it feels bad, but especially if it feels good. Maybe being a runners is about turning that 4 miler into 8 without even thinking. Looking up at the street sign and saying, "How did I get here?" Or maybe it's getting back to your front door and forgetting why you didn't want to go out on that run in the first place. And maybe it's feeling for just a few minutes that you can't wait to run another 26.2 miles. Or 3, or 5, or 10, or 13.1... It's looking forward to lacing up your Asics, sucking on some Gu, and getting The Going going again.
Guess I'll be buying some more Gu tomorrow.
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My life so far can be broken down into five distinct phases: 1) Childhood, 2) Adolescence, 3) College, 4) Washington DC, and now, San Francisco... PHASE FIVE.
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4 comments:
It happens to us all. There are days when I get to the gym all pumped to get going, maybe run 8 miles or so and then after the first few steps I say to myself, wtf am I doing??
nice post!!
man... to be running again. i know exactly how refreshing it is to be running and realize you forgot to turn around some 3 miles ago, but damn if it don't feel good!
glad to hear you had such a great run!
I think you really pegged it - it's more about the mindset of wanting to get out there and get moving, or to push yourself further than you planned.
It's a natural tendency when you're involved with marathoning to link your identity to your PR or most recent finish, but the sport is about so much more than that.
Keep up the great writing.
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