I carry stress in my neck. It's not an ideal location. It presses on my collarbones. And makes holding my head upright difficult. It makes me seriously consider hailing a cab home to hide in my bed under layers of covers.
It makes me bitter. And it prohibits me from thinking straight. That's the part I hate the most. Right now, within this fog of stress, I wish I could take back every fucking minute. Those spent late at night picking up slack. And those that infiltrated my vacation. My non-vacation. And those filled with the drama. The MELOdrama.
It is wrong to want to take the minutes back. Because I am fortunate this happened now instead of later. Fortunate it isn't worse than it is. Fortunate that it provided me lessons I won't find anywhere else.
I will continue to make it about the people. I will continue to do my best. I will continue to be fair. But next time, I will never forget to look out for myself. And next time, I will demand that they EARN my respect, trust, and loyalty. Next time, I won't be so naive. And next time, I will be so much better off. Having this behind me.
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5 comments:
i hope the next time is this time, right now...
Way to put a positive spin on an unpleasant situation.
BTW...Yesterday's post was awesome!
go to chinatown and look for a cheap massage....nice temporary relief!
i HATE non-vacation vacations. just had one with my parents.
Forget the cheap massage.. get the expensive one! YOu deserve it!
Dad says ... Now that you are in CA ... live by the words of the famous Rick Nelson -- from "Garden Party" ... you can't please everyone -- so you gotta please yourself! This lesson was hammered home to me in 1997. You are learning it at a much younger age -- good for you! Love, Dad
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