My doctor would prefer if I weighed 15 pounds less than I currently weigh.
My current weight is 15 pounds more than what is ideal.
If I lost a pound a week for 15 weeks I’d weigh what I should weigh.
I weigh 15 pounds too much.
High school: 7 and a half years and 15 pounds ago.
If I chopped off an arm (or a leg?) I’d weigh my ideal weight.
If I were six inches taller I’d weigh what I should weigh.
I have to lose 15 pounds.
All of the above are obvious euphemisms for the following: I effing HATE scales.
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My life so far can be broken down into five distinct phases: 1) Childhood, 2) Adolescence, 3) College, 4) Washington DC, and now, San Francisco... PHASE FIVE.
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5 comments:
and THAT'S why i don't ever weigh myself.
or go to the doctor.
ok, now i'm spamming you -- but you don't have a contact email address -- i just realized that you have McSweeney's on your blogroll -- a friend of mine gave me their mini-anthology (their latest publication) for christmas, and i started reading it last night. fricking hysterical!!!!!!
An arm/leg weighs 15 lbs? Huh, I did not know that!
Don't hate scales - hate doctors! That's bologna fo sho. You're in awesome shape and are just right.
a pound a week, that's what I keep telling myself, too, but instead it's two steps forward, two steps back. You probably have better discipline than me.
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