...
Been staring at this draft for a while, now. Not quite sure where to begin. For starters, I'm in San Francisco. NOT Chicago. The meeting I was supposed to have in Chicago next week - the meeting to deliver my most recent project at work to the client - was cancelled. On Thursday afternoon. And with it, my flight to Chicago on Saturday morning to run in the Chicago Marathon.
Since Thursday afternoon I have been angry, and sad. Frustrated and stressed. Irritated with my project. My client. My job. And, if I'm being honest, my life. Because it always seems to work this way. Up and down and up again and down again. Hurry up and wait. Get it done yesterday turned, eh, it's not really needed anymore. I am overwhelmed and exhausted and tired. I am so tired. I really have never been this tired in my entire life. And I need... well, I don't know what I need. Or want, at this point. Other than to figure it out. I need and want to make some changes.
But admist the fluster and aggravation and disappointment, I am relieved, too. RELIEVED!
Because I'm not prepared. I'm not prepared to run this marathon. On such little sleep and so few long runs. Through rain and 40 degree temperatures. I'm not ready to attack the physical challenge of the marathon. Furthermore, and more importantly, I'm really not ready to attack the mental challenge. For so many reasons...
So I didn't buy my own ticket to Chicago. And I am not running this race tomorrow. I'm not going to push myself through something else that's been on my list of things to do just to cross it off. I'm not going to run myself down any more than I already am. I'm not going to just, "make it work."
It is 80 degrees and sunny today in San Francisco. I am going to take a long walk to the bridge, and I am going to read my book, and I am going to clear my head.
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20 comments:
generally speaking it's been prety nice for the NYC marathon. you could consider (or is it WAY TOO LATE?) to apply for the lottery for a marathon that's coming up in a couple of weeks? ok, maybe. i take that back.
love, the one who's in sunny SIXTY degree weather.
enjoy your book.
I'm sorry to hear you won't get to run the race tomorrow but I'm definitely glad you get to enjoy a little relaxation. There's always next year.
aww...i have a feeling it's the best decision, take time for you and there will be more marathons!
aww...i have a feeling it's the best decision, take time for you and there will be more marathons!
I've got a big sad ole frownie face over here...but it's understandable.
Sounds like you made the best decision for you.
Hopefully we'll get to meet each other at a race in the future!!
Phase V,
Good choice. There is no need to put more pressure on your life.
It takes more guts (and smart) to back out on a race than try to push through it with your ego.
Enjoy the time off ;)
I'm sorry Nic,
I am sure it was a hard decision, but I hope you find something else on the horizon soon.
oooooomg. and i just sent you all these texts telling you to have fun and what not. CRAP. insert foot in mouth.. i've been in st. louis at the ex's wedding (dont ever go to an ex's wedding by the way.
not ever.)
damn. sorry about that! hope you had an enjoyable day though!
If it's any consolation (I just ran the Chicago marathon), it was crappy weather here today - cold and windy. Most everyone I know ran 5-10 minutes below their expectations.
There are plenty of other marathons in your future. 80 degrees and sunny sounds pretty good to me.
When your work schedule settles down you can get back at it.
I think you made a good decision. I think I was in a simlair place last year and bowed out of Chicago marathon at the last minute. No explanations are needed as you always know what is best for yourself. Hope you get some rest.
We missed you there, but sounds like you made the right decision.
Maybe we can run it next year? You make such kickass playlists. :)
Hope you enjoyed your weekend. I was up there running the marathon and it sure was a beautiful weekend weather-wise!!
I say, that sucks. It sucks not because of not running the marathon, but because the decision wasn't yours. Not really. It will work out though and it sounds like you are getting past it. I hope you enjoyed your day.
Perhaps, I "walked" past you while doing Nike. I couldn't run either, and I've cancelled CIM. Next time. Maybe Napa.
It would have been great to run with you on Sunday, but it sounds like you made the right decision. We'll try again some other time. :)
Nic,
Sometimes it's nice when the decisions are made for you. Sounds like you didn't miss much with the conditions out there anyway....take some downtime and reeelax. There will be other races...fast races, i'm sure.
Hey, just checking in. How are you doing??
I'm checkin' in, too....hoping everything is OK!
um, WOMAN.
get back here and update us.
we miss you!!
honey, i hope things have picked up for you. Thinking about ya.
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