Difficult but Doable

The past few days, I have been afraid of two moment's in tomorrow's race:

Moment #1: When I start to feel that the qualifying pace is too hard. When I run smack into the proverbial wall. That wall that I have never run into before during a race. I am afraid of that moment when it starts to hurt. To really fucking hurt.

- AND -

Moment #2: That point in time when I realize I am either going to make it to the finish in 3:40 or that I am going to totally miss my mark. I am afraid that I will have to keep running knowing that I'm not going to qualify for Boston. I am afraid that the pain of those miles will surpass anyting I felt earlier on in Moment #1.

So, I am afraid. Very afraid of these moments. But I think it's just because I so easily complicate things. Running is so simple, though, really. Putting one foot in front of the other, and then the other foot in front of that one. Repeating. Again and again and again. Over and over and over and over. Again. And quickly. Quickly quickly quickly quickly. "Fast as you can..." It's simple. And races? Why, the course is mapped out for us. Every mile is marked. With a clock, even. Just listen for the gun and then get going. And don't stop until you break the tape. Easy.

So I shouldn't be so afraid. That pending pain? Well, I'm ready for it. Because I've felt it before... And I've lived to talk about it. As the ad says, "Pain is weakness leaving the body." (So get the hell out. And hurry!) But thank you, HEG, for reminding me that even though THIS may hurt, and likely won't be easy, it is no less doable. And CO, you are right - that wall doesn't even exist! And I promise not to believe in it for a second.

And that moment of doom? When I'll learn if I'm going to hit or miss a Boston qualifying time? Well, I shouldn't have to worry about that moment. Because I'll have a pace band on my left arm. Right next to my watch. So I'll always know where I stand - in relationship to the 2006 RNR Finish Line, as well as in relationship to the 2007 Boston Starting Line in Hopkinton. So there's no need to obsess about that moment of realization.

Thus, the hardest part, is right now. Before the race starts. When my mind gets to race but my body doesn't get to follow. Yes, the hardest part is now. Because I am ready. So far this year, I have run 748.5 miles. I have gone long for 20, 21, and 22 miles, recovering each week with an *easy* 16. And I have intervaled, completing Yasso 800s in 3:40. I have climbed hills. And mountains, even. With speed and grace and lightness. My performances are consistent. And my easy pace has quickened. My legs are freakishly strong. I am Ms. High Mileage. And I am ready!

But Dad - it would help a LOT if you could yell, "Go, 'Cole!" at about 10:00 AM PDT tomorrow morning. So loud that I can hear you all the way from Philadelphia. I know what you're thinking... Difficult, but doable, right?

Yeah... Just like qualifying for Boston.