The 1-2 Punch

The two worst break-up statements of all time are definitely:
1) "It's not you, it's me."
-AND-
2)"It's just... well, the timing is really bad."

I met him the weekend after I decided to move to San Francisco. On a black and white, zebra-striped, party bus. Clad in 80s attire, my hair was fashionably secured in a side ponytail with a scrunchie. There were coolers of beer and Jello-shots and poles. Whether or not the poles were meant to fucntion as props for dancing or instruments for safety remains to be determined. But he did know all of the words to "Since U Been Gone." And he even sang them, without holding back, each of the three times in a row I requested the driver play it for us. And yes, we both still wanted to kiss each other after those 9, sweaty, glorious minutes of Kelly. And so we did. On the bus, drunk people falling in every which direction around us, my side pony blowing ever so seductively in the muggy DC night air.

Now that I'm out San Francisco, we don't talk very regularly. Our ability to whip out 9 paragraph emails in seven or eight minutes makes up for that,though. And today he included me on an email to his crew in DC inviting them over to his apartment for a party on Saturday night. It will be a fun party, and I won't be attending. But actually, that's not why I'm sad right now.

I'm much more saddened by the the fact that I didn't meet him a weekend earlier. Or a month earlier. Like on that rainy night when I wasn't feeling well and I skipped out on dinner. When LEJ did some dirty work for me and pronounced him as, "Strong to Quite Strong." I'm not saying that an earlier encounter would have generated a different outcome between us. I have only recently been welcomed into his circle of heads, and only recently have I learned that he had reasons for his own #1 and #2 back then.

But still, I wonder. And I realize that #1 and #2, although entirely awful to hear and say, are increasingly pertinent to my attachment status. Which can be examined and explained in a couple different ways.

1) Single. Yes, still.
-OR-
2) Not settled down. Not yet. No fucking way not yet!

I am thankful that there is a friendship ahead for us. There's already an 8 hour day of catching up planned. And I think it's proof that break-up lines #1 and #2 don't always have to be sucker punches. As for questions about my un-attached relationship status, however, well those punches just need to be dodged accordingly.