All Over the Maturity Map

My cell phone rings, and when I see his name on the caller ID, I immediately drop the phone. I'm glad he called but for some reason I'm also nervous. A little. A lot? I don't want to answer. I'm apparently still a fourteen year old, sometimes.

By the time I decide to answer I have missed his call. Now I'm nervous that he won't leave a mesage. I stare at the phone and wait for the the message indicator to beep. It does, and I am giddy. His voice mail is funny. My roommates laugh at me as I giggle. And that makes me feel even younger. Like a twelve year old.

I call him back and we agree to have dinner. He picks me up right on time. I'm wearing jeans, heels, and a button down; and naturally, I greet him by slipping down my front steps. He asks if I'm OK, but I'm not hurt. The fall wasn't too bad, so I am laughing at myself. I'm not always smooth, but at least I'm not embarrassed. Had I done that at 16, my cheeks would have burned. But I am mostly over myself by now. I am back to feeling twenty-five.

He is older. Not by too much. But old enough to have a really nice car. And old enough to ask if I want to stop by the new apartment he just bought. It is gorgeous. And humongus. We unpack a box of wine glasses and as we toast, I try to remember when I got so old.

We go out to dinner at a place around the corner. I already know that he is funny, but I learn that he is also sweet and kind of quirky. A perfect combination, actually. I think I might like him. He refers to me as a woman, and while he means it sincerely, I am left feeling more like a little girl. Until the kiss good night. The kiss good night brings me back and I am 25 and all grown up again.

Except now, my heart is beating in all different directions as if it's trying to break free from someone tickling it. I can feel it squirming and I can almost here it say, "STOP I HAVE TO PEE!"

(Sigh.) Once more, a little school girl.