826

I am often confronted with questions concerning how or why I became an engineer. I don't really remember the whole chain of events that lead to the decision. I think I toyed with the idea of becoming an architect and a math teacher as well. I have always liked math and I like to invent things. I also like to ask all the HOW questions. Plus, it was 1999 and I had to pick a major and people who were building software were coming out of college making $50,000+ a year. I thought, $50,000 sounds good. I can do that.

The WHOLE truth, though, is that I had this teacher in 9th grade - Mr. Cole - who told me I was a lousy writer. In fact, Mr. Cole told my ENTIRE Honors English class that I was a lousy writer. He photocopied one of my papers and distributed it to 29 other people in my class. He underlined what he thought really sucked so that he could SHOW the entire class that I was a lousy writer. I spent that 55 minute period hiding behind my stringy hair and pink wireframe glasses, silently sobbing over my first D-.

I remember working my ass off on the assignment that followed. And I remember the big, red "A+" Mr. Cole had placed in the upper right corner of my three stapled pages. I remember beaming. I also remember - how could I forget - that seconds after returning the paper to me, he accused me of cheating. In front of the entire class. He waited for my answer. Embarrased and 14 years old, not yet having the confidence to tell him to Fuck Off, I mumbled back to him, "I wrote it." I swallowed the lump in my throat, let a tear sneak out of my eye, and headed out the door to my locker, intent on dedicating the rest of my life to math and science. I remember thinking there is no good or bad in Algebra 2. Mrs. Fogarty only does right and wrong. Much simpler.

Ten and a half years later, I still don't think very highly of Mr. Cole. But I do wonder what would have happened had I not endured the public ridicule of a sub-par English paper. I wonder if I would be a lawyer or a journalist or a teacher. Or maybe a novelist... I produced some killer short stories about unicorns back in the day.

And so today I submitted an application to tutor at 826 Valencia. The application was more involved than I expected. I'm wondering if it is hard to get a volunteer position there. It may be a pipe dream, but I have ALWAYS wanted to teach. And I don't want anyone else to become an engineer because someone once told them they sucked at writing. And I've made it this far, right? If it doesn't work out, I guess I can offer to help with their computer network. Being a systems engineer and all. I was kidding about the routers...