The Cure for SBKS

When using the Mason Dixon Line to divide the North and the South, Washington DC is clearly a Southern district. I know it's no where close to being in the Deep South, but for a Yankee from Philly, The District is more Southern than Northern.

And it has been a really EFFING hot summer this year. Deep South all the way. Yesterday I was outside for a total of 10 minutes at lunchtime and was embarrassed to look down and notice that boob sweat had collected on my shirt. Fear struck. I was soaked. Hair. Neckline. Forearms. Back. Back of the Knees!

My friends and I call it SBS - Sweaty Back Syndrome. It's in full effect for many of us in DC this time of year. SBS makes the Metro stink. It ruins our plans to skip the cab and walk to a friend's house. It makes us have to be on top of our drycleaning like no other.

Now, don't get me wrong. I effing HATE SBS. But there's one thing I hate more, and that's SBKS - Sweaty Back of the Knee Syndrome. SBKS is SBS's evil step sister. I don't think there is anything more nasty than sitting in your car in the summer and feeling the forbidden droplet of sweat run from the back of your knee down your calf.

I used to dream of one day striking it rich by inventing a tool to at least compensate for SBKS. I planned on making colorful sweatbands for the knee. Sure they'd be heinous, but I figure that Jams were heinous and they totally worked in the 80s. A little sweatband around the knee couldn't be much worse.

The thing is, it probably could be worse. So I'm moving to San Francisco. My practical cure for SBKS.