Argentine Identity Crisis

Flying high above the Amazon en route to Buenos Aires, I am reading my guide book trying to figure out what to do with myself tonight when I finally land. Oh, yes, at the very least I will be sitting at the hotel bar drinking a glass of Malbec Argentine wine.

My tour book states, “Argentines are Italians who speak Spanish, think that they’re French, and act as if they’re English.” On the surface, this “cultural confusion” seems to adequately describe myself, no?

To start, I'm Italian. Although I appear to be 100% Italian (dark & greasy hair, olive and greasy skin, larger than ideal nose, larger than ideal bust with a narrow waist but larger than ideal hips…) I am only half Italian. You would only know this, however, if you saw the freckles on my shoulder. (That is the Irish in me, of course.)

And believe me, my family is VERY proud to be Italian. In fact, my father wears an Italian horn charm – the symbol of virility – around his neck at all times. He also used to wear an “Italian Stallion” charm; luckily, it broke/disappeared recently… At any rate, despite the Italian ancestry, my second language is Spanish. I actually can only speak a few Italian words: Merry Christmas (Buon Natale), Eat Up (Mangia), Do you understand (Gabeesh – jeez I can’t even spell that one), and Hello/Good-bye/What’s up/How ‘ya doin’? (Ciao).

So, I’m an Italian who speaks Spanish. (Although I fully understand any racist remark against Italians, so watch it.)

And in many ways, since I live in San Francisco – the most liberal city in the USA – I guess I can essentially identify with the Argentines who think they’re French. Like the French who cannot imagine living anywhere other than Paris, I can’t understand why anyone would NOT live in San Francisco. I believe our city to be the most beautiful. Our lifestyle to be the healthiest. And our social and political opinions to be the most intelligent. Seriously, I’m an obnoxious French woman, sometimes!

Then there’s that whole English thing. I don't know if I ever really act English. But I am trying replace my coffee habit with tea… And I’ve always had a thing for accents and floppy long hair.

This could be a very interesting trip…