I opened the door slowly. The studio was comfortably warm inside. And its vast opennes was more inviting than it normally is. Well rested from my nine hours of sleep and my running rest day, I felt strong. So I laid down my towel... in The Front Line.
Afraid of confronting both my personal and yoga-related flaws and inadequacies, I began my Bikram journey in the back of the room. Perched in the corner, I spent a lot of time peering out at the other yogis in class. The regular s who are there every day. The newbies who are just starting out. The hard bodies in their little speedos and shorts and sports bras. And the self-confident soft bodies with very round bellies who wear little speedos and shorts and sports bras, anyway. The accomplished professionals. Who are AWESOME. And who stand in The Front Line.
I have been fearing The Front Line since Day 1. And at the same time, I have been anticipating the day I would finally have the guts to stand there. Surprisingly, The Front Line wasn't as bad - or as HARD - as I imagined it would be. With only four feet between me and the mirror, my practice was surprisingly simplified. No one to hide behind. But also, no one to focus on. Other than myself.
Tonight, only four feet separated me and the mirror. Only four feet between me and locking my knees. Between me and pulling up on my thighs. Flexing my toes, and putting my head on my feet. Four feet between me and my eyes. Between me and balancing. Forever.
Four feet. Only four feet. Only! Between me and all that I want to accomplish.
Almost there...
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9 comments:
Good for you!! I'm always in the back, admiring people like you...
ok, so i started going to an open class last week. way out of my league, so i totally stand in the back.
one thing that i DO love about my studio is that there are no mirrors. makes me less self-conscious. you hve chutzpah, nic!
but in the back the other day, with me, there was a woman who was so good, it was all i could do to stop staring. i mean, GOOD. variations galore. amazing amazing.
the next time i go, if i can stop staring, hopefully she can be MY mirror!
If you need me I will be in the back!
In Tae Kwon Do 4 feet is within the "personal zone". Translation: it's within arm's length and is therefore yours.
I just found your blog this week and I really like it. I totally sympathize with needing to get out of DC. I did that two years ago after only surviving 10 months there. You just get to a point...
4 feet??
i'm not a yogi. i dont know about 4 feet.
but i DO know about the front line, and well done chica. i'm a soft round body (fully clothed) that likes to hang in the back..
so, more power to'ya!
4 feet? Is that a down dog reference?
Woops. One of my edits didn't make it into the post. That would be four feet between me and the mirror... I wonder if I'll go up front again tonight?!!
I've always hidden in the back during the few yoga classes I've taken...
And you describe the heat as "comfortably warm"? You must be an ole Bikram veteran.
*Front Line*
That is solid - keep pushing the envelope!
I love the front line. I like checking out the guy next to me in the mirror. I don't like looking at myself.
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