I Got the Monium

Man-de-mo-ni-um (mnd-mn-m) n.

The period of the cyclical dating lifecycle in which a woman has more men caling her than she can physically and emotionally handle. Also characterized by extreme confusion and disorder, normally caused by one male being better in the sack than another. "Another" is normally nicer, however. Always accompanied by a resurfacing of an ex-boyfriend to complicate matters even worse. Also referred to as the "Feast" period. (Antonym - "Famine.")

It's excellent, but we'll discuss later. Today, I have another Monium for yas.

Man-der-mo-ni-um (mndr-mn-m) n.

The state of frenzy in which I constantly find myself due to a friendship with my favorite redhead, AFS. Happy Birthday, AFS! We love you for all that you are to us...

• The First Year who couldn't get enough O'Hill.
• The RA who brought men back to dorms to hook up.
• The Patriot who sat 6 inches from the TV during the entire 16 Days of 2000 Olympics Glory.
• The Peeping Tom who when not in front of the TV for said Games attempted to watch events while peering into windows while traversing down 15th Street on our way to Coupe's.
• The Friend who was always on the couch when I came home "from school" and asked me to recount every moment of my day.
• The Victim of being STUCK IN A BUNK.
• The Guest of Honor at the BEST Flip Cup Tournament Ever! (Olay, olay, olay, olay...)
• The Owner of the smelliest car in college.
• The Singer with whom I love to harmonize Indigo Girls songs.
• The Woman with the strongest RANDAR ever detected.
• The Recipient of Doily Valentine Cards (Fuck you!) from adoring students in Baltimore.
• The Teacher known to grade quizzes at bars.
• The Chick who made out with a cop. (Or was he just dressed up like a cop?)
• The Renter who never remembers her keys.
  
• The Listener who always makes time to hear me out.
• The Counselor who always gives the best advice.
• The BEST Friend I miss seeing the most. (Except for the other 10 of you, of course.)

Happy 25th, AFS!