Solve for X

We are taught to baseline. To incorporate additional factors one at a time. And to alter the ebb and flow of variables incrementally while effecting change. So that we stay in control. And ensure that our little experiments don't blow up in our faces.

I used to think I was a control freak. But lately, I find myself gravitating more towards chaos than order. Try as I may to develop a list, there is more to do at work than I can write down. I walked around in circles for several minutes this afternoon, trying to determine which ball to drop first. Only to crack up laughing as I realized people were staring.

My life, like yours, is probably best described with a differential equation. One with too many variables to ever solve, though... Despite precisely controlled science experiments! How can you ever hope to solve an equation whose variables are always changing? Quickly. Sometimes without reason. And many times, entirely accidentally.

Try as we may to keep our focus on something important, we will eventually tire. What is new, challenging, or exciting will become normal and routine. And though it will not always become mundane, what once caused our eyes to widen, our hearts to pound, and our stomach to drop, will cease to catch our attention the way it once did.

So far, one of the few conculsions I've come to make is that signifigance, in general, tends to wane. Even when we don't mean for it to do so.

But every now and then we are forced to shift focus. Causes to be determined, we identify new variables. And apply new constants. Detoured, we try to find the silver lining. We still can't solve for X, but sometimes, if we're lucky, we can solve for Y. We smile to ourselves. Not entirely there yet, it does feel nice to be a little closer to knowing the real value of X.

“I never, ever, ever take a race for granted until I cross the finish line.”
- Apolo Ohno