The Bartender

EAB has a theory about dating. One to which I fully subscribe and believe I have partially co-authored. Having lived with her at the time, if I'm not a co-author I am at the very least a reference. Her theory, as she would surely attest, is that women have to date a lot of different types of guys before they finding that ONE. EAB fully admits that the ONE may only be the ONE FOR NOW, and I have to agree I might be seeing things more on her level lately now than I had previously; however before *ONE* is found, we must, of course, first kiss the frogs.

And The Jock. The Musician, and The Artist. The Older. The Younger. The Surfer, and of course, The Burnout. The Cowboy. The Meathead. The Dork. The Brain. The Banker. The Bartender. The Ass Hole, and The Sensitive One... The Comedian. The Loner. The Renter. The Homeowner. The Still Lives with Parents. The Foreigner, plus The Boy Next Door. Not to mention The Butcher, The Baker, and The Candlestick Maker.

Enter The Bartender...

It started nicely enough. I met up with a girl friend for drinks, she brings her boyfriend, he brings his friend. (The Bartender) When The Bartender gets up to use the restroom, The Boyfriend asks The Girlfriend to sit next to him and a seat opens up next to me. The Bartender takes the seat and conversations commence. Without trying, I proceed to woo him. (Obviously) He walks me home.

I will admit that I really WAS glad he asked for my number. But when he asked to come INSIDE to "kick it" for a bit, I was not so excited. "I have to run tomorrow morning," was all I could think to say.

He called just like he said he would, which was a pleasant surprise. But at 10:00 PM on a work night. "Wanna hang out? Kick it? Watch a movie?" HELL FUCKING NO. It's 10:00 PM and I wake up early. OK, my decline was nicer than that. But he kept calling at 10:00 PM at night. On WORK NIGHTS! So, I declined a couple more times. To which he finally replied at one point, "You know, you're never going to see me if you don't want to hang out on a weeknight. I work on weekends." So I responded, "Well, if you're not going to call me at least a day in advance before 10:00 PM you'll never see me again ever." To which he countered, "I don't plan in advance."

Add that to the list. The I Don't Plan in Advance Guy. He's normally a hybrid between The Ass Hole and The Loner. And I dated him already, too. (We're friends now, though.)

So, we planned in advance. We hung out - I mean "kicked it" - for a second time a couple of weeks ago. He came over to my apartment; because, oh yes, The Bartender doubles as The Still Lives with Parents. (That doesn't really bother me, but it adds to the story...) But isn't watching a movie at MY apartment without first going on a date or doing something else kind of a coupley thing? Or at least a third date thing? An after you've gotten to know the person a little bit thing? I mean, I do possibly get that on his night off he doesn't want to go to a bar for a cocktail. I guess it's not ENTIRELY his fault that The Older and The Homeowner - hell, even The Younger and The Sensitive One at least took me out for a drink first. And then dinner. And THEN we hung out/ordered in/watched a movie. That started early. In time for me to go to bed early for work the next day.

Oh, can you tell that I'm just not feeling it? Maybe I would if we ever went on a date instead of just kicking it.

So, I haven't called him much. When he called last week, I was conveniently sick. Which was actually a huge inconvenience for the rest of my life, but it was a convenience in that regard. Now he's in L.A. for a week. He wants to move there. Another sign, another reason why I'm just not feeling it. I hate L.A. and I have this strange aversion to people who want to live there. (Blame The Ass Hole-Brain-Jock hybrid I dated for almost four years, perhaps?)

It's just that I have learned to read the signs. (Thank you, The Cowboy.) We're on entirely different schedules. And I guess I've just learned that there is a difference between finding someone attractive and finding yourself attracted to that someone. He's a nice guy, though. Don't get me wrong, he's a nice guy.

EAB would say that it's all been good. At the very least, I get to check another type of man off The List. But seriously, can I please find The Surfer, soon? I think I've dated almost all of these types by now, save The Surfer, and I don't know if I'm any closer to finding The One/The One For Now.

I know he's out there. Or they're out there. And when I find him - or each of them - I'm sure there will be a little bit of every type there. But while I'm asking, would it be possible to send me a Jock-Musician-Brain plus a side of Dork-Sensitive, with Comedian on top? Please?